Bad Breath

I am compelled to write this entry after an unfortunate run-in with bad breath.

Here are some pointers from a conversation with my dentist brother. I actually called him after my run-in because I had good faith that he would explain the bad breath phenomenon with clarity. First to point out is that sometimes you might have bad breath and not know it. I was convinced that I would know when I have bad breath but he said that sometimes, I wouldn't know unless someone told me. So this applies to us all, not just the dangerous few with bad hygiene.

If you're a protein eater (beef, chicken, fish, etc) then you are more prone to bad breath because protein smells, not carbohydrates. Protein particles can get stuck between your teeth and remain on your tongue which causes bad breath. Another reason your breath might smell is because you haven't eaten breakfast or because you haven't eaten in a while. This is because acid sits in your stomach and the only way to neutralize the smell of acid is food. For example, anorexics would normally have terrbile breath. If you're an anorexic, you have been warned: you're not only harming your own bodies but others as well.

Stomach issues is another factor but that's for the medical doctors to deal with. If someone says something like, "Hey, are you drunk?" But then you haven't taken a drink since Billy Blanks stopped making TaeBo videos, then it means you have stomach issues. Bro says that stomach related bad breath would smell more like alcohol than the common bad breath. Seek medical help.

Simple steps can be taken to counter bad breath.

1. eat breakfast and food every 5-8 hours.

2. brush your tongue with your toothbrush. Not enough people do this.

3. use mouthwash to kill bacteria

4. chew gum. This only masks the smell temporarily.

5. floss! Protein gets stuck between teeth and they're hard to reach with your toothbrush alone.

Final note: my brother suggests that mechanical is always better than chemical, meaning that mouthwash (chemical) is not as effective as brushing and flossing (mechanical). Chemical options only kills easy-to-remove surface level bacteria.

Happy Brushing!

p.s. if you're the person I was sitting next to today in class and you're now reading this, we don't ever have to discuss this entry. Just please follow the steps above.

Plastic Surgery

Wow, I'm so behind on this topic! Heidi probably has gotten ten other surgeries by now. I've been neglecting this post only because there is so much to say about plastic surgery. I recently had lunch with two Christian girls from an elite university and they were so against plastic surgery. They're good girls, but also single. haha. jk. ok, they are single, but. anyway.

So I used to work at an up-and-coming plastic surgeon's office in Beverly Hills. Check out his website. I learned a lot from working there, for eg, if you take Vicodin with alcohol you get a really nice high. Or that you should never assume the rather young man who picks up the "overflowing" patient with a new set of double Ds is her husband who paid for the surgery. Interesting thing I observed (of course my inner academic researcher comes out) is that contrary to my hypothesis that young white girls get breast augmentation, it is usually the recent Vietnamese divorces with white younger boyfriends who get them. ok, that was a heavy loaded sentence there. Yes. Asian women dating white men getting gargantuan ta-tas. Did you get an image?

Anyway, so since I clearly have a lot to say about plastic surgery, I will focus on breast augmentation for this entry. I can't comment on Heidi anymore, too much said and written on her already. I think the girl needs a break. She looked fine before but this new look works too. I guess the problem is her obsession with plastic surgery. She's gonna end up looking like Donatella Versace in a few years unless she slows down with the distorted image. But, there are really great cases too like when Ashley Simpson got her nose job. The discourse around her surgery wasn't, "I can't believe Ashley Simpson succumbed to surgery!" but rather more like: "oh, much better." I was happy for her. I was never a fan of either of the Simpson girls, but Ashley's nose allowed me to get past her Simpson family tree.

So here's the breakdown on breast augmentation. You can either choose silicone (Dr. 90210 charges 8k for this pair) or salines for a smaller fee. Silicones are FDA approved since 2008 but salines have been around for much longer. If you want to have an umbilical breast augmentation which leaves no scars, then salines are your only choice. However, they don't feel as "real" and sometimes when you're tossing around in bed, you can hear the swishing noise from the salines. It's like the water bed resurrected!

Silicones feel more natural but they can only be done through the areola or the underarms.

The caution for breast augmentation in general is that you must be diligent about massaging them so that they don't develop scar tissues or harden. About 5 minutes a day for the life of them is the way to go. There's also the risk of your body rejecting the implants which isn't super common but it happens. I usually see how excited ppl. are to get their "pointers" that they hardly pay attention to these warnings. Then the few ppl. who need surgery to fix the problem or in worse case, have them removed cry and get all upset over the mishap. If you find a good doctor who is plastic surgery certified, the problem is usually the patient, not the doctor. In any case, it's important to take this caution seriously before proceeding with surgery.

The more common problem is that the size ends up looking much smaller than expected. This may be a huge disappointment if you were expecting to appear on Stuff magazine. At the same time, going too big can make it really obvious and ppl. in your office may assume that since they're fake it's ok to look and touch.

Ok, one more cautionary note. Getting breast augmentation will NOT make you more beautiful. It might make you feel sexy but sexy also doesn't mean attractive (at least not all the time. I'm thinking of the mom in American Pie and Peggy Bundy). If it boosts your self-esteem then go for it, but it will not magically make you more pretty. And why would you want men who want you for your bosoms? Ok, no need to answer that. But just letting my readers know. big boobs does not mean more game. If you want to be more beautiful, then we gotta look at a different example, i.e. Ashley Simpson's nose.